Being an ugly friend is a problem that many people face. While there are many types of relationships, the one between two friends or siblings can be particularly hurtful.
This type of relationship involves a group where one person is more unattractive than the other, and being this person is not easy. It often results in self-consciousness and embarrassment amongst those involved.
The right way to deal with the feeling of being the ugly friend is to acknowledge these feelings and put them in perspective with other problems. Talk to a trusted person; they often perceive the situation very differently.
What Is an Ugly Friend?
An ugly friend is not attractive by popular standards but has other qualities that make them appealing as friends, such as personality or intelligence.
Most people have experienced the situation of being an ugly friend. It is a terrible situation to be in, and it can lead to many problems for you and your friends.
The Do’s and Don’ts of Dealing with Being the Ugly Friend
Do be honest with yourself
If you’re not okay with how things are going, don’t pretend everything is fine. Don’t let your friends walk all over you just because they’re prettier than you are.
Do be honest with your friends
If they don’t respect your feelings because of how they perceive you, tell them that they’re being rude or inconsiderate and ask them to change their behavior accordingly.
You may have to repeat this request a few times before it sinks in, but eventually, everyone will get the message (or leave).
Do be honest about your feelings about others’ appearances too
Instead of saying straight out, “I think Jessica looks like an alien,” try saying something like:
“I love my friend Jessica, but sometimes I find her appearance quite intimidating when she wears red lipstick and black eyeliner. When I see her wearing those colors together on our weekend trips, my heart melts every time!”
Don’t undermine yourself
Don’t make excuses for what other people say or do. It’s okay to stand up for yourself when someone else is being rude or hurtful toward one of your friends unless there’s more involved than meets the eye (e.g., jealousy), which might make things more complicated!
Find the right person to talk to
An important thing you need to do when you’re struggling with being the ugly friend is finding someone who will understand and empathize with you.
The right person will help put things into perspective, offer advice, and provide a sounding board for your feelings.
For example, if you’re struggling with feeling like the fat friend or being labeled as the “weird” one in the group, it might be helpful to talk with someone who has been there.
If they can’t help directly solve any problems they may have faced in their own life (and everyone has issues), at least they’ll be able to help sympathize with yours so that it doesn’t feel so lonely or isolating anymore!
The next step would be finding someone who can help advise on how exactly how *you* should handle this situation.
Be Confident in Yourself
You are your person, so you must be happy with that person. Don’t let others’ opinions of your appearance make you feel uneasy.
It’s okay to dress up and wear makeup, but if you don’t want to, then don’t feel like you have to.
It doesn’t matter what other people think about your appearance because it’s their opinion, and they’re just going through life trying to make themselves happy by criticizing other people’s appearances!
Recognize when you are being too self-conscious
The first step in dealing with your self-consciousness is to recognize it. Understanding why you feel the way you do about yourself and your appearance can help you overcome those feelings.
It’s important to remember that there are many reasons for feeling this way, and not all of them are negative or bad.
For example, suppose a person has a history of being bullied or teased by others because of their appearance. In that case, it’s easy to see how they might develop body image issues over time and become more self-conscious than someone who wasn’t bullied as a child.
Avoid situations that make you feel like you’re the ugly friend
To deal with your feelings of being the ugly friend you have to stop comparing yourself to other people. It is important not to compare yourself too much, as it can make you feel even worse about yourself and cause unnecessary anxiety. 
It’s also important not to compare yourself with your friends, especially if they are female and attractive.
As much as possible, try not letting other people affect how confident or secure in yourself that you feel!
If you find that you are constantly comparing yourself and feeling like a loser because of this comparison process, then it would be best for you not to hang out with them as often so that these types of thoughts do not arise as often in your mind.
Tell them to be kind
When you feel like your friend is making you feel like an ugly friend, it’s time to take action. It would help if you weren’t afraid to talk to them about it.
They may not even realize they are hurting you or making you feel bad about yourself. Many people don’t realize how cruel or hurtful their words can be until someone points out their problem with them and asks them to stop doing what they’re doing.
If your friend doesn’t take responsibility for their actions, then it’s up to you if you want to continue being friends with them or not.
How to Handle Negative Feelings as the Ugly Friend
- Understand what you are feeling.
- Talk to someone about it.
- Take care of yourself.
- Try to see the positive in the situation: You are gaining a friendship and support system with someone who has similar interests and can relate on many levels because of their own experiences as an ugly friend.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help from friends or family if needed; this is especially true if your feelings are causing distress or anxiety, which makes it difficult to go out with your friend regularly (or at all).
Maintain Relationships with Friends Who Don’t Make You Feel Like You’re the Ugly One
If you’re self-conscious about your appearance, it might be difficult for you to reach out and have an honest conversation with a friend. However, they will understand why and how they can help if they are a good friend.
We should also be able to ask them directly what they think of us physically. This doesn’t mean asking them point blank whether or not we’re ugly.
Instead, it means asking more indirect questions such as:
“How do I look? Do I need some new clothes?”
Or maybe even saying something like:
“I’m so concerned about my appearance that it’s emotionally draining to me.”
For communication between friends/family members/lovers to go well, there needs to be an open dialogue between all parties involved so that misunderstandings do not arise later on down the line (this means no passive-aggressive comments!).
If one party does not want an open dialogue, it may be best to keep things as simple as possible; don’t get too involved in talking about personal problems if you feel you will get little response.
Finding True Friends
Finding true friends is not as easy as it seems. It would help if you were a good friend, and a good friend is someone who:
- Listens without judgment.
- Is there when you need them, even if it’s just listening.
- Is honest with you about your flaws and helps you fix them.
- Is kind to everyone, not just the ones who are likable or popular.
- Supports the people around them, no matter what happens between them in the future.
- Loyalty and trustworthiness are key ingredients of any lasting friendship.
Building Self Confidence
There are many ways to build your inner confidence, all involving positive thinking and the ability to see beyond the surface.
The first step is to become aware of your strengths and weaknesses.
Your Ugly Friend might be a genius at math, but she can’t tell what color shirt looks best on her.
You may not be able to do an air guitar solo like your attractive friend, but you’re able to help others find their inner beauty through words or actions.
Once you know your strengths and weaknesses, focus on improving yourself where possible.
You Are Not Alone
You are not alone in your struggle and others out there feel just like you. While this might sound silly, finding someone else who has gone through similar experiences can help you feel more comfortable with yourself and less self-conscious.
Many people find that talking to genuine friends about it makes them feel better overall.
They might understand where you are coming from and advise how they would tackle similar situations if they were in your shoes.
As you can see, there are many things you can do to improve your life as an ugly friend. You don’t have to be embarrassed about how you look or who you are because there are people who will accept that and love every part of it. You need to find those people!
Katie Holmes is a senior author at everyday-courtesy.com with over 15 years of experience in marketing and psychology. As a freelance consultant, she also supports companies and executives in overcoming communication challenges. Katie is a passionate digital nomad working on her first book on the art of communication.