How much do you love me? This is one of those questions from your significant other that may catch you off guard. A lot of people, justifiably, can find the question tricky or challenging to respond to. How can you calculate or quantify the love you feel for another person?
Two common responses to the question “How much do you love me?” are: Emphasize how your significant other makes you feel and point out that love is not measurable. For example: “I feel euphoric and charged whenever I am around you” or “I love you more than any words could convey.”
Of course, the way you answer this question will certainly determine the direction of the conversation that follows.
Communicate How They Make You Feel
How someone makes you feel is a powerful indicator of the role they play in your life. If you are more comfortable and are in touch with your senses and maybe suck in poetry, you can describe how they make you feel. This can help communicate to them the amount of love you have for them.
To do this effectively, start with the impact your loved one has on your everyday actions and senses. Falling in or being in love has a scientific basis. Loving someone is associated with hormones and other biological mechanisms, which can influence how you feel about and around them. [1]
For instance, when you are around someone you love, there is an increase in hormones like dopamine and norepinephrine. These hormones lead to nervous excitement, euphoria, pleasure, and giddiness. Other hormones like oxytocin and vasopressin can cement your attraction to your husband or wife by promoting empathy, trust, and other aspects of long-term attachments. [2]
So, what does all of this mean in the context of the pertinent question at hand? Well, it supports the notion that how your better half makes you feel is a genuine indicator of the love you have for them. So, a thoughtful response along these lines is a great answer to the question.
Oftentimes, the perfect way to help your significant other comprehend just how much you love them is to express how they influence your senses.
Below are the best answers you can use to describe how much you love them by how they make you feel:
“I genuinely feel like I am the best version of myself every time I am around you.”
“I love you so much that I can’t imagine living life without you.”
“I always feel childlike happiness or joy when we perform an activity together.”
“You being by my side makes me feel like I can go through anything or achieve anything.”
“Hey Babe, I always can’t wait to see you again, even when you’ve just left.”
“Every time we aren’t together, I always feel lonesome and wonder if you are also thinking about me.”
“Whenever we interact or engage in activities, everything always feels exciting.”
“When I am with you, my heart beats a tad faster and I am living life to the fullest.”
“When I’m around you, I feel joyful and charged.”
“Each time we have contact, I get the perfect kind of shivers and goosebumps.”
“I smile internally every time the thought of you crosses my mind.“
“Something inside me lights up every time someone mentions you.”
“Your love light shines so bright that it makes me a better person, and I don’t need anyone else’s words to know that I am loved.”
“To be the luckiest person in the world, all I need is just you. I love you as much as possible.”
“Only you make my coffee dates and pillow talks feel like the most important moments of the day.”
“No words hold true of the feeling I got after the long walks.”
“I finally realize that you are the world to me and you light up my life with your love.”
It’s worth noting that there can be no wrong answer to how your better half makes you feel. [3] It is good practice to use your instincts and honestly articulate how your relationship impacts the senses that make you love them so much.
It would be ideal to use your own words that come naturally to you at the moment. This will be your best answer and will sound more genuine and authentic.
Explain the Immeasurability of Your Love
Many people root for the notion that you cannot measure love and that it is unquantifiable by any objective parameters. This viewpoint can be entirely valid. If you feel like there is no way to express, measure, or understand the amount of love you have for your spouse, it is important to let them know in a way that they can understand.
When your love for your partner is largely unconditional and unwavering, love can be immeasurable for you. In many cases, your significant other may feel the same way, and they will understand your response.
Examples of perfect answers to communicate this include:
“I love you too much to be able to measure or compare that love to the breadth or size of something tangible.”
“I cannot express in any quantity how much I love you. I can only hope that you give me the chance to express it every day through my actions.”
“I love you so much that I will give you a kiss for all the atoms in the entire galaxy.”
However, there is a caveat here. It is important to analyze in what context and why your significant other is asking you how much you love them. If your wife is seeking a more accurate answer, they may end up feeling like you are taking the easy way out of the question.
Let Your Partner Know You Feel Complete with Them
You can give your significant other an idea about how much you love them by letting them know that you feel complete with them. When someone makes you feel complete, it usually means that they play a significant role in your life’s balance.
Someone you truly love will make you feel complete emotionally and psychologically. You can tell that you love them with your mind, body, and soul and that their absence disturbs the balance of these crucial aspects.
There are many ways of communicating this using your own words. Being creative, witty, and playful about your response will go a long way. This can help convey just how much you love and care for your significant other.
Let Them Know That You Love Them Each Day Through Your Actions
Actions are louder than words. There is nowhere this timeless adage is more true than in romantic relationships. How you treat your spouse truly reveals how much you love them.
However, for a question that requires an off-the-cuff response, this answer may be a little tricky. In the right circumstances and relationships, this can be an appropriate answer.
If you want to avoid an answer that seems apathetic or defensive, as well as one that seems like a non-answer, you can let them know that you show how much you love them every day through your actions.
Make them constantly reassured through your love gestures in their love language.
Note that this answer will be appropriate if you do make regular gestures in your partner’s love language that will immediately come to their mind. However, it is important to gauge the other’s mood or context of the question before you respond along these lines. If your significant other feels unappreciated or you aren’t on good terms, they may find this answer frankly unhelpful.
What Does It Mean When Your Partner Asks, “How Much Do You Love Me?”
To best answer this question in a way that feels right for your partner, it’s important to first understand why they are asking the question in the first place. Your husband may ask you this question due to uncountable things ranging from playful banter to feelings of under-appreciation or jealousy.
One good place to start is to consider the context of the question:
Playful or Silly Context
If your significant other wants to be playful, they can ask you the question to get funny answers out of you. In such situations, you can use silly phrases or generic poetic quotes like:
“I love you to the moon and back.”
“I love you 100 percent more than you love me.”
“I love you with all my belly. I would say my heart, but my belly is bigger”
“Love me and my heart skips a beat.”
Is Your Partner Romantic or Flirty?
When your partner is in a flirty mood, they may ask how much you love them as a teaser. This can be a tricky one to answer. In this case, any romantic answers can do if you’re both on the same page.
The best answers are:
“I don’t know how much I love you, I just know that I truly and dearly do.”
“If words could express how much I love you, they still wouldn’t be enough.”
“I don’t think you can ever imagine how much I love you.”
“Love uh… I simply love you as much you love me darling.”
Your Partner Is Feeling Unappreciated / Neglected
Your significant other may be indicating that they feel neglected or they feel insecure about the relationship if they ask you how much you love them. Your partner’s mood, tone, body language, and general vibe when asking the question can be revealing.
If you feel this is the case, an ideal response would be to reaffirm that you do love them very deeply. After that, you can have an honest discussion confronting any issues that may be causing such feelings head-on.
If the question isn’t coming from a playful place or a place of love, it is important to reconnect with them and discuss and reevaluate the dynamics of your relationship.
Allow yourself a long pause before you answer the question: “How much do you love me.” A pedantic partner will, for example, need different answers than the classic response you want to give intuitively.
References:
[1]: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4911849/
[2]: https://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2017/love-actually-science-behind-lust-attraction-companionship/
[3]: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8074860/
Sophie Hammond is a journalist, psychologist, and freelance speechwriter for people in politics and business. She lives on the edge of the Rocky Mountains with her dog and a lifetime supply of books. When she’s not writing, she can be found wandering through nature or journaling at a coffee shop.