When someone is obsessed with you it can get very uncomfortable. You feel like you don’t have a life of your own. Such a person will behave as if you are a property. You feel as though you are owned by someone.
If you allow obsession to persist, you’ll end up in big problems you may not get out of easily. Therefore, you need to know how to deal with such a situation.
A practical way to deal with someone who is obsessed with you is to politely indicate that you are not interested in any contact. After that, end all communication and inform your social environment about the incident.
Show Empathy
One of the proven ways of dealing with someone obsessed with you is to show empathy. In the spirit of being empathetic, it’s good to understand why the person is behaving in such a way.
In most cases, people who are obsessed with others have a story or factor behind it. For example, maybe the person had challenges growing up and he would like to be close to you because he says comfort in you.
In as much as this behavior makes you uncomfortable, the person sees it as a solution to his problems. For that reason, it is important to try and understand the situation of the person before taking further action. You can try to talk to him to see whether he can open up to you.
Being empathetic is a great way of showing the person that you’re not comfortable with the behavior but you would like to know why he is obsessed with you.
Discourage the Person in a Polite Way
Another important step to take when someone is obsessed with you is to discourage them in a respectful way. Being polite goes a long way when you’re dealing with someone. According to a 2015 article by ResearchGate, it helps to create the right environment for effective communication. [1]
As you have learned above, the person may be having a mental health issue that makes him show obsessive behavior. Therefore you should try and talk with such a person in a polite way. Of course, if you don’t want the person to continue with the obsessive behavior, it is imperative to discourage them early enough. Don’t wait for too long before you discourage the person.
The person will keep insisting on wanting to be in a relationship with you, but you have a right to say no. So, show the person that you’re not interested at all.
Make sure that you’re polite as you do so. Avoid using harsh words as they could make things worse.
You can say to the person something like this:
“I appreciate for sending the text message but please allow me to remind you that I am not interested in a relationship.”
This is a simple statement with a polite message to the person showing obsession towards you. Make sure that the message doesn’t have too much explaining in it. Give out the facts in a respectful way and it shall be well.
Distance Yourself from the Person
Something else you can do when someone is obsessed with you is to distance yourself. This is a simple but great way of sending your message to the person. You’re simply telling the person that you don’t want a relationship at all.
If you try to entertain a relationship, you’ll be showing this person that you’re interested and it may bring problems later. You’ll be giving the person the wrong signals. Limiting the level of interaction between you and the individual obsessed with you goes a long way to solve the problem you’re going through. This is a matter of making boundaries and being committed to sticking to them.
If the person obsessed with you is a friend, having boundaries will remove any doubts from the picture. The person won’t be left wondering whether there is a close relationship or not. From the beginning, the individual will know that you’re distant and you don’t want any closeness.
It’s important to highlight that obsessed people love it when they have what they want. So, distancing yourself from them makes them uncomfortable but it’s what you have to do to be away from them.
Build a Quality Support System
Something else that’s significant to do is to build a quality support system for yourself. Knowing that someone is obsessed with you can be a draining experience, especially if it has never happened to you before.
Imagine having to live knowing that there’s someone you’re not interested in who keeps on giving you stressful experiences. That would make your life so depressing, right? That’s why you need a support system that will make you stronger as you try to deal with the person.
A support system of quality people by your side is vital as it gives you emotional support and also advises you on what to do about the issue. In some cases, obsessive behavior can lead to violence between the parties involved.
If you notice that the person obsessed with you is becoming violent in any way, it is essential to mention it to your friends and close relatives.
This goes a long way to offer you the much-needed support and protection. Having a good support system is valuable as you’re able to know that there’s someone to watch your back in case of anything.
Develop a Good Relationship
This is another proven way of dealing with a situation where someone is obsessed with you. However, this is only advisable when the person has a mild obsession. If the obsession is excessive, it isn’t a good idea to try and develop a good relationship.
For a person with mild obsession, you can offer an opportunity to speak out.
As the person speaks out, you’ll be able to learn more and also get to learn from you. If you’re able to manage the situation in a good way, you may be in a position to help the person.
If you decide to take this approach, make sure that you meet with the person in a central place. Let it be an open place. Being in an enclosed place may make things worse. Initiate an extensive talk where you’ll discuss things related to the obsession as you evaluate how to move forward. After the conversation, you may end up developing a healthy relationship and putting an end to the obsession.
Cut Communication with the Person
Cutting communication with the person is a sure way of doing something about the obsession. Communication is powerful since it is what fuels relationships. If you communicate with a person for a long time, you’ll end up developing a relationship.
If you were not friends, you’d end up becoming good friends. For this reason, it is prudent to avoid communicating with someone who has an obsession with you. Through this, you’ll be cutting any ties or bonds that join you together.
This is a viable option if you’ve tried most of the above tactics and they have failed. As long as you’re not communicating with the person, there’s no way you’ll bring them close to you.
So, any form of communication channel should be put to a stop as soon as possible. If you act quickly you’ll help to prevent damage in the future. Also, if there are events where you’re likely to meet someone obsessed with you, it’s best to avoid going to such occasions.
Seek Help
You can try and seek help on behalf of the person. In most cases, if a person has a strong obsession with others, this may be a mental problem. Just like it is for other medical issues, you need to seek help if one has a mental problem.
Maybe the person doesn’t know that there could be a problem associated with mental health. Therefore, it is prudent to talk to the family members of the person to try and offer the required help. Talking to the person can be a manageable case. If it persists, it is better to go the professional way. Seek help from professionals who are able to handle the issue well.
Probably going to a professional may help to look into the issue further and come up with reliable solutions. As you seek help for the person, you’ll end up helping yourself in the process.
Make a Report
Hopefully, you won’t get to this level, but if you do, it is a wise idea. If you have tried all other options and they have failed, you have every right to make a report to the relevant authorities. If the person obsessed with you has not demonstrated the willingness to leave you alone and is threatening your safety and privacy, it is advisable to inform authorities of your story.
For example, if the person disturbing your peace is at your workplace, you can make a report to your manager. You can also report to the police in extreme cases.
Making a report is good since it helps to handle situations beyond your control.
References:
[1]: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/283984132
Katie Holmes is a senior author at everyday-courtesy.com with over 15 years of experience in marketing and psychology. As a freelance consultant, she also supports companies and executives in overcoming communication challenges. Katie is a passionate digital nomad working on her first book on the art of communication.