Love is the strongest feeling, and being in love with someone is priceless. Now imagine meeting that ideal person, that you like both physically and emotionally, that you share time with him/her and feel that he is the person with whom you should spend the rest of your life, or at least, that he is your partner in the future.
What if that person is in a relationship? Either a courtship or he/she is married. You would find yourself in a difficult situation, right? That is something that happens more often than you can imagine. So, is it wrong to confess your feelings to someone in a relationship?
There is nothing wrong with confessing your feelings, but there are several factors to consider before doing so: Knowing if that person feels the same way about you, not doing something that you later regret, and assuming the consequences (good or bad).
Our heart does not ask for permission when it comes to choosing who to fall in love with, it is a bit capricious in certain cases. However, it is best not to get carried away by your feelings and put your mind to the matter, so do not rush. Here are the things to consider in this case.
Find out if they feel the same
The first thing to know is if he/she feels the same. This is the main key before action. You are in love, and you have seen thousands of wonders in that person, but will he or she feel the same? This is the most important.
When someone who has a partner likes you
Suppose that the person you like also feels the same way about you. In this way, the solution is clear, but it does not depend on you but on the other person. Remember that there is a third person involved, so if you know at some point that the person you like wants to break up with his/her partner, you should not pressure them. Everything is a difficult process.
In addition, you should also consider the kind of relationship with his / her partner: Is it a marriage? Are they dating? How long have they been together? They are important questions. A married person with children is not the same as a courtship of just three months.
However, as we have said, if he/she does feel the same way about you, it is a matter of two to amend the path as a couple. Of course, always know the consequences of your actions.
When a person hides his feelings
If the person to whom you confessed your feelings wants to keep it a secret, it is probably because she is not entirely convinced. Or because she does not want to stop having what she has with the other person. Watch out! You should know that she is lying to a person, are you sure that is what you want? In addition to hurting a third person, think that they probably won’t leave it for you. Think carefully if you want to have this type of relationship.
When she/he doesn’t like you enough
What if the answer is no? In this case, it is also somewhat complicated, since your feelings are not reciprocated. When you are in love with someone who has a partner, and you are not reciprocated, it is easy what you should do: assume everything and let time play its role in falling out of love.
Let’s see how you can help yourself to fall out of love with that person.
Talk about your feelings and interests with someone you know
Talking to another person about our feelings is very therapeutic. Express yourself with someone you trust, and don’t be afraid of being judged. Falling in love or liking someone is not a bad thing, and, as we have said, love is capricious, and we do not choose who we fall in love with. As long as nothing has happened, you have not done anything wrong, you simply have feelings that you cannot avoid.
If the trusted person also knows the other person, even better, since he can give you better advice to forget him/her.
How to fall out of love with someone who doesn’t love you
Overcoming a heartbreak is not easy and begins by distancing yourself from the other person. If you work together or are friends, it is best to act normal, but without giving rise to more conversations than you normally have. Do not incite situations that you love, like being alone or talking more than necessary, since they will only harm you even more.
Talking to another person can give you a more objective perspective of the situation and can help you a lot to see things differently.
You do not want to be perceived as a Simp.
Don’t do anything you can regret
You like that person a lot, and you want to try through thick and thin. Stop the car and pay attention to what we will tell you next:
- Are you so in love with that person? Think that many times when we like someone, we believe that she is the best person we know. When we love someone to the point of loving him at all costs, we do not see reality.
- You must stop and think. Probably in three or four months, you will not think the same, or maybe yes, who knows. The truth is that the fact of not being able to be with that person also increases the desire to be with them since the human brain works that way. That is why you should use your head and be more rational about it.
- Also, think: If it is a marriage with children, are you sure you want to break a family? And probably, if the other person does not want anything, you have hit the wall.
Don’t act without thinking. As we have said previously, talking is very therapeutic, and an objective view of the situation will make you see that no matter how much you feel, it may not be a good option to jump in. We repeat, there are more people with feelings.
Imagine that your partner cheats on you
Imagine that who you like leaves his partner to be with you. This will be the beginning of your relationship, but couldn’t the same thing happen to you? Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Years or months go by and your partner meets someone. Do you think he will not leave you for someone else? This can happen to anyone, but remember how your relationship started.
Also, a person who leaves her partner after months or years of a relationship most likely does not want to get into another serious relationship, and for him/her, you are just fun. If not, ask yourself if you want to be with someone who left her partner for you and could do it again.
What if you decide yes, regardless of the circumstances?
The attraction may end up dominating reason and you decide to start the relationship even though you already have a partner. So, you must be prepared to assume the following consequences:
- You will never be their first choice. You will not be in the photo on his nightstand, at family gatherings, or at social events.
- If your partner finds out and it creates a conflict, you should be silent.
- The future of your relationship is uncertain, the time spent with him can only be an enjoyment of the moment, do not add anything to your morning.
- If you were friends and everything ends, chances are the friendship will also go away.
- In the case of a co-worker, the condition will also impart your work environment.
- Consider that if everything is known, and she/he is married, you will bear part of the responsibility. Is a whim worth as much as breaking the bond of a family?
You may look at it, and it seems perfect, but it isn’t. Take into account all these reflections and understand what to do if you like someone who already has a partner.
Remember that love is capricious, and we do not know who we are going to fall in love with or who we are going to like. It does not understand reasons, only feelings.
If you decide to share your feelings, make sure the other person doesn’t take it in a bad way, so find the perfect time and place to say it.
Sometimes it is better to try and get nothing in return than to live thinking all your life: “What would have happened if…?”, as sometimes it is better to let it go and think: “If you love him, let him go”
Sophie Hammond is a journalist, psychologist, and freelance speechwriter for people in politics and business. She lives on the edge of the Rocky Mountains with her dog and a lifetime supply of books. When she’s not writing, she can be found wandering through nature or journaling at a coffee shop.