Whenever a person has formed an emotional bond with a particular place, it can make them sad when they’re away from it. This is true of places that are associated with work, leisure, or other activities.
It is, therefore, all the more important to express these feelings openly but at the same time discreetly enough so that they do not offend anyone in the new place.
Focus your expression on the positive experiences and feelings you associate with another place. If you emphasize why the current location is worse, you will create a bad mood with the people around you, from which you will have a hard time getting out.
Simple Statements of their Emotional State
Some people may freely make statements that describe their present emotional state. These statements are made as expressions of fact. Usually, people in this situation are quick to recognize and identify their emotions.
They don’t have a problem with expressing how they feel in front of other people. For example, if you are in the situation you might say:
“I miss my old neighborhood.”
“I miss my old school.”
“I miss my former workplace.”
Everyone doesn’t feel comfortable expressing their feelings in that way. In addition, you may have difficulty identifying what you’re feeling as being related to a recent move. In that case, you might say something else when what you’re feeling is a sense of longing for the place that you’re thinking of.
It’s important to say that you miss a place at the right time. For example, it may not always be ideal to say that you miss your old workplace when you’re on stage giving a speech at your new workplace.
Always remember that what you say can help to build trust. Being honest about missing a place can allow others to express their feelings more genuinely.
However, what you say can also cause a different type of chain reaction if you express your feelings in what might be considered a negative way.
For example, try to avoid saying:
- “I hate it here.”
- “I can’t stand this place.”
- “I’m going to drop everything and move back tomorrow.”
Some statements may be an accurate reflection of how you feel. However, there may be people who are in the same situation who might not have the options that you do.
In that case, emotions can arise which can make it difficult for you to cope with the situation in the future, so be careful of how you express your feelings.
Momentary Yearning
Sometimes you may only miss a particular place for a moment. If someone asked you what made you sad at that time, you might express your feelings a little bit differently.
Instead of speaking in the present tense, you might refer to your feelings as being in the past.
For example, you might say:
“Oh, I missed my old school.”
“I was thinking of my old community.”
“I missed the place where I used to live.”
You use missed instead of miss when you’re not feeling that way any longer. You might only miss the place for a brief time. In that case, whenever you refer to how you were feeling, you would use missed instead of miss to talk about your emotional state.
Inexplicable Yearning
You may sometimes find yourself wanting to recapture a particular feeling that you had when you were at another place. You may not be able to find words that can be used to explain exactly why you feel the way that you do. This yearning for something unexplainable is called Sehnsucht.
You may feel sad or wistful when you think of the place but yet you may not immediately describe what you’re feeling as missing the place. However, you experience a strong yearning whenever you think of it.
You might say:
“I feel sad when I think of my old school.”
“I keep having these intense feelings whenever I think of my old community.”
“Every time I think of that office, I feel a pervasive emptiness.”
What Could Have Been
Individuals may sometimes imagine what could have been. They may reflect on what they had hoped to achieve while they were at the particular place. [1] In this case, the person may not so much miss the place as miss the dreams that they had.
For example, if they had hoped to pursue a particular career while they were in that location, they will miss the sense of being home that they had then.
If you find yourself feeling this way, you could say:
“I wonder if I would have gotten the promotion if I’d stayed there longer.”
“I long to play the flute as often as I did when I was there.”
“I keep thinking that I left too early.”
“I wonder if I could have done more to further my studies in journalism while I was there.”
“I long to be there again, learning and using the latest dance techniques from leaders in the field.”
Expressing your feelings in this way makes it clear to those who are listening to you that you’re not missing the location as much as what could have been.
In this case, part of what you’re feeling is a missed sense of opportunity that’s associated with the location.
Missing Community
Sometimes people may describe themselves as missing a particular group that was at their former workplace or any other location. In this case, they’re usually missing the sense of community that they had within that group.
They may say things like:
- “If I were at X place, right now I would be at my Girl Scouts meeting.”
- “We used to come out and sail paper boats down the road whenever it rained like this.”
- “I wonder what my poker club is doing now.”
This type of expression is common in cases where people start to feel a sense of loneliness wherever they are in the present. They might express this feeling by saying things that refer to a specific group experience.
For example, if they relocated to another state to pursue their career, they may talk about their former co-workers a lot. They may even mention going to after-work parties, hikes, or even the snacks that they had at meetings.
They may say:
- “At our other branch, I always enjoyed the time we spent together over coffee at all of our morning meetings.”
- “It was always exciting to try to meet a deadline in my former department at the end of the week.”
- “Some of us used to go jogging together every Thursday when I was with that branch.”
They may also experience a sense of rootlessness if they’re constantly being shifted from one location to another. [2] Again this may be due to work or in pursuit of career opportunities. They may also be searching for other opportunities in life. This causes them to constantly shift their base of operations.
If you feel yourself becoming restless in your new job or feel sad at another new location and you feel that it might lead to a greater sense of unhappiness, it’s important to express this so that you can arrive at a solution.
You could say:
“I miss being able to collaborate with others in the way that I did when I was at my old branch.”
“I miss the sense of stability I had at my old school when we had classes at regular times.”
“I miss the networking opportunities that we had at my old workplace.”
Regret for the Move
Sometimes individuals may express their feelings by saying that they regret their present choice. Whether they’ve moved on for health benefits or other reasons, they may still miss their former location.
Some may even appear confused about their position in their new environment. They might say:
“I wish I hadn’t moved here.”
“I wonder if I did the right thing by moving here.”
“I wonder if I made a bad choice by taking this job.”
“I don’t know what I should do here.”
The Comparison – There Is Better Than Here
Sometimes when people miss things, they may not see them directly. However, you may often find them making statements that include comparisons. In these statements, they often say that another place is better than where they are now.
For example, they might say:
- “The other place had a bigger football field.”
- “The laundromat was closer at the other place.”
- “Rain fell less frequently at the other place.”
All of these statements don’t necessarily indicate that the rain, laundromat, or any other issue is the actual problem. The real issue is that the individual misses the former location. Until they deal with those feelings, they won’t be able to embrace all that their new location has to offer.
If you frequently find yourself comparing one place with another it’s important to take some time and think about why you keep doing it. Be honest with yourself about what you miss about your old location.
You could say:
“I miss my old soccer club and I felt more comfortable playing there than here.”
“I miss my old workplace because they had better health and travel benefits.”
“I long for the type of healthcare that we had in my old community.”
Sources:
[2]: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/is-where-you-belong/201607/why-youre-miserable-after-move
Sophie Hammond is a journalist, psychologist, and freelance speechwriter for people in politics and business. She lives on the edge of the Rocky Mountains with her dog and a lifetime supply of books. When she’s not writing, she can be found wandering through nature or journaling at a coffee shop.