Gracefully removing yourself from a project is possible, and the others involved will continue with it. There are personal and professional projects you may find you just can’t be involved with.
To remove yourself from a project, you should inform the rest of the team members as early as possible. State the reasons as far as you want to make them public, wish the team continued success and support the handover for a successor.
There is a difference between gracefully removing yourself from a project and bailing out. If you truly can’t keep that commitment, don’t beat yourself up for it. Be honest and upfront about what is taking place.
Your relationship with the others involved can influence how much you should share. They should respect your decision and not pressure you for more information or guilt you into continuing with them.
Unexpected Circumstances
You may have had the best of intentions when you started the project, but life has tossed you a curve ball.
Someone may be ill or something else came up that needs your attention more. You are the only one that can determine that.
Don’t burn the candle at both ends and take on more than you realistically can. Otherwise, your efforts will fall short and you aren’t giving your best to any of your responsibilities.
What to Say:
“Due to my childcare falling through, I won’t be able to continue working on this project.”
“An unexpected illness in my family requires my attention and I can’t continue to commit to the project.”
“I got a new job and start right away. This was unexpected but I can’t pass it up. I regret I will have to remove myself from the current project.”
“When we started this project, I thought I would be able to complete it. That has changed for me due to circumstances beyond my control.”
“I apologize but due to changes in my responsibilities, I will no longer be able to help with this project.”
Too Difficult
While you may have volunteered for a project because you wanted to help, you now realize it is too difficult.
It may be beyond your technical abilities or perhaps you aren’t creative enough. The project may have taken a path you didn’t expect, and you feel overwhelmed by it and outside of your element.
If you truly feel you can’t contribute in a positive way, it is time to remove yourself from it.
What to Say:
“The objectives of the project are different than what I thought when we started. I don’t feel I am the right person to continue working on it with you.”
“This is an amazing project, and I am in awe of the skills you all bring to it. I am holding us back and decided to remove myself from further participation in it.”
“The requirements of this project are beyond my capabilities, and I know you will find a better fit to step into my role.”
“I am not able to continue the project due to the inability to do the necessary work.”
Keep It Professional
While you should apologize for gracefully removing yourself from a project, keep it professional.
Don’t let others make you feel guilty or feel like you aren’t justified in your decision.
Your relationship with them can influence how you respond and let them know you will no longer be involved. Strive to keep it professional.
What to Say:
“This is a wonderful group of parents, and I am glad I got to work with each of you. I am no longer going to be part of the project as it moves forward.”
“The decision to leave this project has been a tough one, but it is what is best for me and my family at this time.”
“I hope you can all respect the need I have to remove myself from this project, and I hope to work with you on something else in the future.”
“Due to other commitments and a lack of free time, this project isn’t something I can commit to any longer.”
Keep It Simple
You don’t have to provide a lengthy explanation about why you are removing yourself from a project. You should give this information to those involved timely though.
It is best to do so in person if possible. If not, a phone call is the next best option, and then an email as a last resort.
It can be uncomfortable to share the details but you owe it to the rest of the participants to tell them.
What to Say:
“This project is amazing but it isn’t something I can continue to be a part of. I wish you all the best with it.”
“I have to remove myself as of today from being involved with this. I have a few recommendations I would like to share with you of people that can do it if you like?”
“I am sorry but this isn’t a good fit for me and I have decided to remove myself from taking further action on the project.”
Detailed Explanation
For some projects or certain people you work with, a detailed explanation may be necessary. When it is for work, you don’t want them to think you dropped the ball on your end or you just don’t want to do the work.
There is a difference between not being able to complete a project and being lazy! For such instances, a detailed explanation may be more valid than a simple answer.
You have to weigh the relationship and how much information you care to share about your situation with them.
What to Say:
“Due to illness, I will not continue with this project. I need time to focus on my health and recovery and I appreciate your understanding.”
“A recent death in the family has occurred and I can’t focus on taking care of this project at this time. It is important for me to be with my family and take care of personal matters at the moment.”
“I have some personal issues arise that prevent me from finishing this project and being involved with it further. Please respect my privacy during this challenging time and I hope to be available for future projects before too long.”
Go to Your Supervisor
When the project is one you were assigned at work, it can pose more of a challenge to walk away from. This doesn’t mean you just have to stay with it. Go to your supervisor and have a talk in private. They may have the authority to remove you from it and then you don’t have to speak to anyone else involved.
If there are personal reasons for the removal, let your supervisor know. You may wish to share details with them, but ask they don’t disclose them to everyone else.
They should respect your privacy and professionally handle telling others that you will no longer be part of the project. The other project members don’t necessarily need to know why.
What to Say:
“After careful consideration, I need to ask to be removed from the project. I don’t feel I can take it on right now due to what else is going on. I can elaborate if you need me to but I would really like to keep information private for now if possible.”
“Is there someone you can replace me with on the project? I am not a good fit for it and I feel like I am holding the rest of the team back.”
“There are conflicts with the project and how it is set up, and I would like to be moved to something else. I don’t ask this lightly but after a great deal of thought on the subject. I hope you can work with me on this?”
Do It as Soon as Possible
Don’t drag your feet when you need to remove yourself from a project.
The longer you wait, the harder it is for others to pick up the slack or for a new person to move into your slot. Do it as soon as possible.
You will feel better once you get the information shared and they will all feel better knowing sooner rather than later.
What to Say:
“I wanted to let you all know as soon as I made the decision that I can’t continue with the project. This was to ensure you all have time to continue with it in my absence.”
“Based on the information I found out a few days ago about my health, I can’t continue. I took some time to think about options and I feel that is the best for all involved and for me to focus on my health issues.”
Wish Them the Best
Always encourage them to keep moving forward with the project. You may not be involved with it, but you know what it means and why the outcome matters!
What to Say:
“I enjoyed working with each of you while I was involved with the project.”
“This project is going to be amazing and so worth it when it is done. It saddens me I can’t work on it but I am so thrilled that such wonderful people are a part of it!”
Katie Holmes is a senior author at everyday-courtesy.com with over 15 years of experience in marketing and psychology. As a freelance consultant, she also supports companies and executives in overcoming communication challenges. Katie is a passionate digital nomad working on her first book on the art of communication.