How Do You Respond to “We Don’t Talk Anymore”?

When someone tells you that you don’t talk anymore, it can make you stop in your tracks. Perhaps you are avoiding them because they are toxic and you plan to keep your distance.

On the other hand, life may just be busy right now. Sharing that with them is important so they don’t feel brushed off.

If you have any hard feelings or hurt someone, your response to “We don’t talk anymore” may be a chance to clear the air. It all depends on your relationship with that person and how much you value it.

Establishing clear boundaries is necessary for some individuals. With others, you may welcome the chance to wipe the slate clean and make a fresh start.

Toxic People

We tend to feel guilty if we stop talking to toxic people in our lives. They can be people you have to work with. They can be blood-related to you. In other situations, they are the spouse of someone important to you.

Toxic people can drain you of your positive energy so you have to be firm with boundaries. Of course, it isn’t always going to be smooth if you try to tell them that!

In such instances, it may be better to not go into the details of the WHY. Instead, keep it generic and short.

At the same time, don’t let them press you for answers or back you into a corner. Never let anyone guilt you into spending time with them either.

What to Say:

“I know we haven’t been able to hang out much. I don’t see that changing any time soon though. We will just have to make the most of it when we do see each other.”

“I will make it a point to say hi when I see you. What have you been up to lately?”

“Due to some of the issues that have come up before, I feel uneasy talking to you unless it is about something essential. Perhaps that will change one day but for now, that is where I stand on it.”

“Is there something, in particular, you wish to talk to me about?”

“I tend to stick to myself these days, I don’t talk to very many people.”

Work Contacts

It can be a sticky situation when someone you work with tells you that you don’t talk anymore.

If they are important to you, make time to spend with them. If not, let them know that you don’t have plans to mix work with your personal life.

What to Say:

“I prefer to keep some distance between my work contacts and personal life.”

I am barely staying on top of my work these days, so there is little time for me to socialize when I am here.”

“You are right, and we need to change that. Do you have a day next week we can grab some lunch and catch up?”

“I feel a bit uneasy now that I am your supervisor. I guess I don’t want other employees to feel like I am showing any favoritism to you.”

“It is hard at work to visit much; we both know they frown on that. Let’s make a plan for a Saturday afternoon to go shopping or spend time with the kids at the park.”

Personal Relationships

It can be hard on the heart with personal relationships when someone points out you don’t talk anymore. If you have just drifted apart, see what can be done to bring you back together.

A simple call or text to tell someone you are thinking of them speaks volumes about their position in your life!

What to Say:

“I have been thinking about that too! What are we going to do to change all of that?”

“Let’s carve out a time at least once a month when we can spend time with each other. Does that work for you?”

“The differences in our schedules make it hard for us to talk like we used to. I work nights now and sleep during the day. I will make an effort to reach out when I can. Email may be a good way for us to stay in touch, then we can both send replies at a time that is convenient for us.”

Heart to Heart

That opening from them can be a chance for you to have a heart-to-heart talk with someone who is important to you.

Don’t let the opportunity slip away or you may regret it later.

What to Say:

“I really don’t know what to say to you, it seems like there is an unresolved tension between us. I guess I am just at a loss for words so I haven’t said anything to you at all.”

“It would mean a great deal to me if we could get on the same page and start talking to each other again. I miss you!”

Resolve Any Conflicts

This can be an opportunity to resolve any conflicts too. The silent treatment allows anger and hurts to continue to fester under the surface.

Talking to them can help you feel better and decide if there is a future for that relationship or not.

What to Say:

“I know, and I feel there is so much unsaid between us. If you are willing to listen to what I have to share I promise to do the same for you.”

“I feel terrible that our fight has created this barrier between us. We used to be so close. I would like to work on finding that again.”

Be Sincere with Any Offer to Connect More Often in the Future

If you do wish to reconnect with someone, let them know when they tell you that you don’t talk anymore. Don’t give them false hope though if it isn’t a relationship you care to foster.

You don’t have to create a fight about it or be cruel, but you can keep it short and simple. Be sincere when you do wish to engage further with someone.

What to Say:

“Can I call you on Sunday?”

“I would love to spend some time with you regularly, what does your schedule look like?”