When someone owes you money it can be stressful. Did they forget? Are they trying to get away with not paying you?
No matter how much it is, you deserve to get your money. Understanding how to politely ask someone to pay you is important. You shouldn’t feel uneasy or uncomfortable to ask when they owe you.
Simply state the fact that they haven’t paid you and ask them to confirm a timely date on which they will give you the money. You could say: “Your maintenance costs are due. When can I expect to receive them?”.
It is possible it slipped their mind and they forgot they owed you or they forgot to pay. When you remind them, they will apologize and take care of it.
On the other hand, some people try to get away with not paying someone, and that isn’t fair. It could be someone you worked for, a friend, or a family member. You can be firm but polite when you address the issue with them.
Always ask someone to pay you privately though. Don’t bring it up in front of other employees, their families, or a group of friends. This can cause them to feel embarrassed and create tension. When someone owes you money, it is between you and them.
How to Politely Remind your Boss to Pay you
Your boss may be busy, but they should still take care of paying you for things as they said they would. Perhaps you worked overtime but that wasn’t reflected on your paycheck.
You may have business-related expenses they were to reimburse you for but it hasn’t happened yet. Don’t let it slip through the cracks or assume they will take care of it.
You can address it in person or you may wish to send them an email internally. It all depends on your relationship with them.
If you see them often at work, talk to them in person. If you feel more comfortable addressing the issue by email though that may be the route to take.
What to Say:
“I wanted to follow up with you about the money my check was short for the overtime. Do you know when I will receive that?”
“I enjoyed helping you a few weekends ago painting the office. Can I get the funds we discussed for that project?”
“I am trying to get my budget in order for the month. Can you share when I will get paid for the extra project I took on?”
“I haven’t been reimbursed yet for the work-related travels. When can I expect that to take place?”
“Hi, I could use the money for the bonus I was to receive. I have already planned for it, not sure when it will be available to me?”
How to Politely ask for Payment for Babysitting
Watching children for someone else is a great honor. Most people are very selective about who they leave their children with.
If you babysit now and then, it is common for them to pay you at the end of the evening. If you babysit regularly for them, they may pay you weekly or monthly.
Strive to have a clear payment schedule in place both parties agree to.
If you aren’t getting paid though you should speak up.
What to Say:
“I enjoyed spending time with the kids and I hope you enjoyed your night out. The cost is $25.”
“I don’t see you paid me last week for babysitting; can you please take care of that before we start the billing for this week?”
“Your babysitting costs are due, the total is $300. I would appreciate you paying it so I can cover some bills I have.”
“Hi, I just realized you didn’t pay me for watching the kids last Friday night. Can I come over in a bit to get the money?”
“I can’t watch your kids anymore until we get caught up on the past due amount for the days I have kept them.”
How to Politely ask for Money you Loaned to Someone
It isn’t a good idea to lend money to friends or family unless they have a dire situation. It can become a rift between you. Never lend out money you can’t afford to be without.
When you do lend money to someone, talk about when they will pay you back.
It may be a lump sum or a bit at a time. Don’t accept them telling you they will pay you back as soon as they can, or the issue may be in limbo.
If they haven’t kept their end of the deal, you need to bring it up. Don’t let it become the elephant in the room. If you feel your friend or family member is avoiding you because they owe you money, it may make you upset or angry.
Reach out to them and keep it friendly but let them firmly know you expect to be repaid. If the previous arrangements need to be modified that could lead to a solution.
What to Say:
“The money I lent to you hasn’t been repaid as we discussed. What can we do to take care of that?”
“Do you have the money I loaned to you? I need it to take care of my own bills.”
“Have your circumstances changed? I am concerned you haven’t paid me or contacted me to discuss it.”
“You are important to me and I hope things are getting better. I do need to discuss with you the repayment of the funds I gave you to help out.”
“Can we talk about the money you owe me and get a plan in place? I am willing to work out payments if you can’t pay it all back at once as we had planned.”
How to Politely ask for Money for Items you Sold to Someone
Try to get money for items you sell to people at the time they take the item. If that isn’t possible though, you may have funds owed to you. Perhaps you had furniture for sale and someone wanted it and needed it but couldn’t pay you right then.
You were glad they got it out of your home, but now you want your money for it.
If they can’t pay for them, they need to give back what you gave to them.
Don’t let them enjoy your goods without paying for the items.
What to Say:
“Hi, I need to check on the money for the couch and loveseat I sold to you.”
“Are you enjoying the exercise bike you got from me? Can you tell me when you will be paying for it?”
“You were to bring me money on Friday for the TV, can we get together soon to take care of the payment?”
“I have plans for the money you were going to pay me for the stuff you picked up. Can you share when you will have that money available?”
“I haven’t heard from you about the money you owe for the bedroom furniture. Can you get back to me please?”
How to Politely ask for Money for Damages
Sometimes you have to ask someone for money due to damages. They may have caused damages, their child, or their pet.
It can get tricky because not everyone is going to feel obligated to pay for damages.
In other scenarios, the amount may be hard to agree upon. If they offered to pay for damages or agreed to, they need to uphold their end of it.
What to Say:
“I got an estimate for the damages your dog did to my yard. Can we work out payment for the $200?”
“You agreed to pay for the cost of the window your son broke. Can you tell me when I can expect the money for it? I really need to get it fixed as soon as possible.”
“My mailbox you backed into with your vehicle needs to be repaired or replaced. I would like you to take care of the cost as well as the installation of it requires a new one. Thank you.”
“Can we work out an agreement for the damages at my home you are responsible for? I don’t feel I should pay for them out of my own pocket. I would really appreciate you taking care of it.”
“I am really upset about the damages caused, and I don’t want it to ruin our relationship. I will feel better if you help with covering the cost and make it right.”
How to Politely ask for Money for Various Scenarios
There are various scenarios where you should ask for money from other people.
You don’t have to feel uncomfortable doing so as long as they legitimately owe you.
There can be many times when you paid for items and they should pay you back. Likewise, keep good track of who you owe so others aren’t coming to you for the money you should have paid to them!
What to Say:
“I got the concert tickets for us; your cost is $115 including the various fees they add on.”
“I think the gas money should be split equally. Is that acceptable to you?”
“Just a reminder I booked the hotels for our vacation plans and the rental car. Can you please send me your half?”
“It was fun going to the theater with you, can you send me money for your ticket! We had great seats but they weren’t cheap!”
“I paid for the repairman to take care of the issue at the rental house. Here is a copy of the receipt, can I please get reimbursed right away or can we take that amount off next month’s rent?”
Katie Holmes is a senior author at everyday-courtesy.com with over 15 years of experience in marketing and psychology. As a freelance consultant, she also supports companies and executives in overcoming communication challenges. Katie is a passionate digital nomad working on her first book on the art of communication.