In this digital age, people have to be extremely cautious with information. Many people are aware of identity theft and other problems that can arise when their details fall into the wrong hands
A home address is valuable personal information, so it’s understandable when someone doesn’t want to give it out.
Keep your tone friendly, but state clearly that you will not give out your address. If possible, give an alternative. For example, if someone wants to send you a package, name a packing station instead.
Be Direct
When someone asks for your address, you may feel uncomfortable. After all, while your name and address alone can’t be used for identity theft, this type of information can help criminals to get the other data that they need. [1]
However, because of societal pressure, it may feel like you’re required to give it to companies and individuals. You might even want to be vague about your address and hope that others understand that you don’t want to share those details.
Sometimes, being vague about your wishes doesn’t work. Be clear about your intentions. Let the other person know that you are not going to give them your address.
You can say:
“I don’t want to share my address.”
“I don’t give out my address.”
“I generally don’t share that information. Thanks for your understanding.”
If you sound vague or indecisive, they may think that they can convince you. Make up your mind about what you want and then express this clearly.
You need to ensure that you feel comfortable about telling the person no. It’s okay to say no and define your boundaries.
You can say:
“I don’t wish to share that information.”
“No. I don’t want to give out my address to anyone.”
“Thanks for asking but I don’t share my home address.”
Declining People Who Make Kind Offers
People may offer to send you something in the mail. For example, they may have a gift and need your address to deliver the item to you.
Similarly, someone who has met you online may wish to share an item with you. They might request your address but you may feel uncomfortable because you don’t know the person well enough yet.
Your discomfort may apply even when the individual gives a valid reason for requesting the information.
For example, suppose someone says they need to mail you documentation. However, you don’t know them very well. As such, you may be uncomfortable about sharing your mailing address with them.
You can say:
“Thank you for thinking of me but I don’t share my address.”
“It’s nice to be remembered and I appreciate your kindness. However, I don’t want to share my address with anyone. It’s nothing personal.”
“Thanks but I’ll have to pass. I don’t share my address.”
“You’re a thoughtful person. I appreciate your kindness. However, I have to decline this particular offer because I don’t share my address.”
Suggest Alternatives to Business Offers
Sometimes your address may be requested for business reasons. For example, a company may wish to send you an item as a token of appreciation.
When people ask for your address, you might ask them for a reason. They may say that they need to send you something for business purposes. They may also say that what they have to send to you is urgent.
They don’t need your physical address to send you the item. You can make other arrangements. For example, you can ask a business place to collect the item on your behalf.
You can say:
“I appreciate your offer. I have arranged with Bill’s Supermarket to collect the item on my behalf.”
“Thank you for remembering me. I appreciate your offer of a birthday gift and I’ll ask my friend to collect it since they’re in your area.”
“I would like to collect it via a courier.”
Emphasize Your Feelings
Some people respond better to feelings than facts. If you tell them how their request makes you feel, they will stop asking for your address.
You can say:
“I don’t feel comfortable doing that.”
“I’m not happy about doing that.”
“I don’t feel relaxed when I share that type of information. That’s why I don’t do that anymore.”
Don’t Give an Explanation
You don’t owe anyone an explanation. You don’t have to give details of experiences you’ve had where people misused information.
Some people are naturally curious and like extra details. Sometimes, you can tell the person about something you heard in the news, instead of sharing personal information.
Be Firm
Some people will try to ignore your wishes. They may tell you that they don’t respect your boundaries at all. They do this in several ways. For example, they may say:
- “You’re being foolish. Just give me your address.”
- “What do you mean you don’t share your address with strangers? I’ve never heard anything so foolish in my life.”
- “You’re missing out on a good deal. It will only be available for two more days, so make up your mind or miss out.”
A lot of these statements are designed to manipulate you. Ensure that you repeat what you said clearly, so they understand:
“I’m not comfortable sharing my address with strangers.”
“I’m not going to share my address with you because I don’t know you well enough yet.”
“No. I don’t want to share my address.”
Trust Your Gut and Speak from Your Heart
You should always trust your gut when it comes to sharing personal details. If you feel that someone is trying to minimize your feelings, address it. Don’t let them run a rough shot over your internal compass.
If you feel pressured, say so:
“I feel like you’re pressuring me to share the information. I’m not interested in sharing my address at this time.”
“I would appreciate it if you would stop asking for my address.”
“What you’re saying is coming across more like a demand than a request. I’m not willing to share my address.”
You can pick up signs of danger even when you’re not aware of it. Sometimes the gut feeling that you may want to dismiss is something that you should investigate, so don’t be pressured into making a hasty decision. [2]
If you’re not comfortable sharing your address don’t ignore that feeling.
Sources:
Sophie Hammond is a journalist, psychologist, and freelance speechwriter for people in politics and business. She lives on the edge of the Rocky Mountains with her dog and a lifetime supply of books. When she’s not writing, she can be found wandering through nature or journaling at a coffee shop.
